The Comedic Haitian

What I actually said to my computer:   communication protocol
How the voice software translated it:    comedic Haitian oracle

While the typed outcome is bizarrely different in meaning from what I said, say both phrases aloud and you can see how the voice softeard could confuse the two.

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Liver Delivery

What I actually said to my computer:   to assemble and deliver
How the voice software translated it:    to assemble in the liver 

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Oral pickiness

What I actually said to my computer:   Our editorial procedures 
How my voice software translated it:   Our picked oral procedures 

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NY Times Axes Morons?

Apparently I am not the only person so amused by voice recognition errors as to keep a collection of them.  In this New York Times article about the latest version of Dragon NaturallySpeaking—version 11, coming out any day now—writer David Pogue mentions that he keeps a file of favorite Dragon NaturallySpeaking gaffes from over the years.  The article introduced a few that he’s come across:

What David said to his PC:   “the right or left
What the software wrote:  “the writer left

What David said to his PC:   “a case we summarily dismissed
What the software wrote:   “a case we so merrily dismissed

What David said to his PC:   “oxymoron
What the software wrote:   “ax a moron

Hopefully, he will post some more of his favorites because these were a real kick.

Merrily dismissing cases,

Ric

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Happy perjury in today’s voice recognition errors

Two new software errors for you—

What I actually said to my computer:   assignment allocation
How my voice software translated it:    as I am an allocation

How my voice software translated it:   Happy anniversary!
How my voice software translated it:   Happy in a perjury!
So I tried once more, but not better:    At the end of her shrink!

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Week’s roundup of voice recognition errors

What I actually said to my computer:  December.
How my voice software translated it:   D. Samberg

What I actually said to my computer:   Hyderabad  (a city in India)
How my voice software translated it:    Hide a robot  (perhaps something they do in Hyderabad, but NOT what I said)

What I actually said to my computer:   Get well soon!
How my voice software translated it:    Get Wilson!

Posted in Just Plain Funny Mis-Translations, Trouble With Foreign Words, Trouble With Names | 5 Comments

A calculation error – voice error of the day

My voice recognition software (you talk it types) error of the day:
What I actually said was “calculator” but what it thought that I said was “cocky leader

If there’s one thing we don’t need is cocky leaders with a calculator.

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Oh boy, this voice software is something

What I actually said into my PC’s microphone:        my voice software…
How my voice recognition software translated it:  my boy software…

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Spewing forth today’s voice recognition error

What I actually said to my computer while working on a law firm’s website copy was “alternative dispute” which my vox software interpreted as “alternative to spew.”

Glad I caught that one for delivering the copy to the client.

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Today’s Voice Software Error: Eternal Instincts

What I actually said to my pc: Reasons for confirming paternity include…

How my voice recognition software translated it:  Reasons for confirming eternity include…

My father–a church pastor–would likely argue that it is at least as important to establish one’s eternity as to establish one’s paternity. But the family law attorney upon whose website this phrase would end up would likely disagree.

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Today’s Voice Software Error: a little potty humor?

What I actually said to my pc:  addendum

How my voice recognition software translated it:  again dump

I’m thinking that once is enough, but…

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Fave Voice Recognition Errors of the Week

Many humorous mis-recognitions this week.  Enjoy.

  • What I actually said:  She’s in a bit of a pickle
    How my voice software translated it: Cheese and a bit of a pickle
  • What I actually said:  4.0 (spoken as “four-dot-oh”)
    How my voice recognition software translated it:  ford auto
  • What I actually said:  meeting regularly
    How my voice recognition software translated it:  meeting your girly
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Today’s Voice Recognition Error: Those Gussied up Moochers!

 

What I actually said to my PC: Muchos gracias!

What the voice software wrote: Moochers gussy us!

As you can see, voice-recognition software doesn’t take kindly to alternate languages when it is used to speaking English.

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Today’s Voice Recognition Error: Blasted Fanatics

You might recognize this phrase, as I spoke it just yesterday when writing up yesterday’s voice recognition error of the day.  What I actually said:

The phonetics are not that different

What the voice recognition software wrote:

The fanatics are not that different

It always seems ironic when a voice-recognition error occurs while I am writing a blog about voice-recognition errors. Know what I mean?  🙂

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Today’s Voice Recognition Error–Dancing Programs

Like many voice recognition errors, if you say each phrase out loud, it is easy to see how the meaning got so dramatically changed — because the phonetics between each phrase are not that different.

What I actually said:

programmed answer

What the voice recognition software wrote:

program dancer

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Today’s Voice Recognition Error: Tortured Vehicles?

What I actually said:

Vehicle is subject to seizure and forfeiture

What the voice recognition software wrote:

Vehicle is subject to seizure and torture

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Voice Tie Bows Intro

This blog is dedicated to my indispensable and yet never completely reliable voice recognition software.

As anyone who has used voice recognition software understands, voice recognition software is an amazing piece of software technology… that you must watch very, very closely. Voice recognition software is kind of like a well-behaved dog that nonetheless cannot resist the temptation of scarfing down an entire stick of butter when no one is looking.  Likewise, voice recognition software is far from that idealistic (and still futuristic) vision of being able to talk to your computer and having it fully and accurately comprehend. Even with the very best of the best voice recognition software packages (presently Dragon NaturallySpeaking Pro), a screaming-fast computer, a top-of-the-line headset microphone, and an utterly silent environment, it is my experience that you still cannot simply close your eyes, lay back on the bed, and start speaking your thoughts to the computer.

Well, you can. But do not expect 100% accuracy.

With the best of the best equipment and the best of the best environment and lots of practice at learning how to speak in a manner that is conducive to voice recognition, you can get close to 100% accuracy. But still… not quite.

It’s worth noting that I am dictating this first blog with my voice software, and more noteworthy that it’s operating at 100% accuracy at the moment. But then, everything is ideal and — more importantly — I’ve only used words that it will surely comprehend. But let’s mix that up a bit. For instance, the software often fails and accurately interpreting names. Let’s try out a few.

Camera.

There you go. Instant failure. What I actually said was Tamara — that’s the name of a former coworker. No matter how hard I tried to convince the computer that what I was actually saying was Tamara, it would always interpret it as camera.

Brad Baker

Oh, I got lucky that time. That’s the name of a former supervisor. When I worked for him, nearly every time I was using voice software to dictate, it interpreted his name as bread baker. And sometimes brat baker.  It’s not like getting your bosses name right is important or anything, right?

So, since I find that the voice software seems to misinterpret my words a humorous or fascinating ways several times a week, I’ve created this blog to share some of the best of the worst translations it makes.
Enjoy.

PS — if you use voice recognition software and have your own amusing anecdotes to share related to recognition errors, please feel free to share them.

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