Category Archives: Just Plain Funny Mis-Translations

Shutter the Thought

I knew it would be a long shot for my voice recognition software, but I tried it nonetheless. What I said to my computer: “woulda-coulda-shoulda” – But what Dragon NaturallySpeaking typed: “Would occur to shutter”

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February Dragon Errors: The Best of the Worst

No, Dragon NaturallySpeaking did not suddenly get all its speech-to-text recognition correct for the last month – it’s time for some catch-up. Or “some ketchup,” depending on the quality of your microphone. February’s blunders: What I actually said to my … Continue reading

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How many lanes??

Trying to write down directions, what I actually said to my computer via Dragon NaturallySpeaking: 264 Lane street. But how Dragon wrote it: 26 four-lane street… I think Dragon was trying to get me lost.

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Billing Foreigners

What I actually said to my computer: “…foreign voices.” but what Dragon NaturallySpeaking wrote: “…for invoices.”

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The unexpected dangers of being a director

What I actually said to my computer while creating an article about B12 supplementation: “colorectal cancer risks.” But what my voice recognition software typed: “co-director cancel risks.”  Definitely a surprise side effect of too much B12.

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Plant sperm??

I never heard of such a thing, but apparently Dragon NaturallySpeaking has. What I actually said: “When the plans firm up…” But how Dragon translated it: “When the plants sperm up.” And that was in an email to a business … Continue reading

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Siri Fails Baristas

A friend of mine recently attempted to get her Apple iPhone’s Siri to understand a common, simple word: barista. No luck. How Siri’s voice recognition translated it: Paris stuff. A friend of hers tried it herself, and Siri failed again: … Continue reading

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The star receiver has a cold

You know that old adage “Feed a cold, starve a fever.” Or is it “Feed a fever, starve a cold”? According to Dragon NaturallySpeaking, it’s neither. What it typed when I said the former: Feet are cold, star receiver.

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Sorry, Dear Auntie

Honest, I was talking about the long-snouted creature that eats ants. Clearly, Dragon NaturallySpeaking didn’t understand:  What I actually said to my computer: ant eater.  How my voice software translated it: aunt eater. I tried once more, and got one … Continue reading

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Kicking Tarts at the Meta-Café?

Two recent voice recognition errors, just for kicks:  What I actually said to my computer: he kick-startsHow my voice software translated it:  he kicks tarts Those poor tarts!  And what kind of eats would you get here, I wonder: What … Continue reading

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Mental Leaps and Angry Coworkers

I was talking about a recipe, but Dragon NaturallySpeaking clearly thought I was speaking esoterically: What I actually said to my computer: Take mint leaves, and… How my voice software translated it:  Take mental leaps and… And one more, showing … Continue reading

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Gaseous Sins

A couple of doozies to finish off the week.  I’ve heard of having a bad sense of humor, but… What I actually said to my computer: To test one’s sense of humor.  How my voice software translated it:  To test … Continue reading

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One Crazy Prescription

This next voice recognition error is from the medical world, and came to me from someone who wishes to stay anonymous.  As you may know, voice recognition software is often used by doctors as a way of recording what they … Continue reading

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Dog Health Food?

What I actually said to my computer:  phytonutrients.  But how my voice software translated it:  Fido nutrients That’s one ruff translation by Dragon NaturallySpeaking, I’d say.

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To know lightening is to…

Makes me wonder if Fox News is using voice recognition software, with an error like this: As seen in today’s “Massive Yosemite blaze may have been sparked by illegal marijuana growers” article.

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Mongolian Criminals

A humorous week for voice recognition software errors. Two memorable ones:  What I actually said to my computer: Morongo Casino How my voice software translated it:  Mongol Casino And one more, brought to you by Dragon NaturallySpeaking as well: What … Continue reading

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What’s inside a biker

What I actually said to my computer: mountain bikers and trails  How my voice software translated it:  mountain biker’s entrails

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F’ing Laughter–Literally!

When using Dragon NaturallySpeaking, or some other voice recognition software, it’s important to remember to turn off your microphone when you’re done dictating. Otherwise, Dragon just keeps listening.  And Dragon doesn’t know what to do with any sounds coming from … Continue reading

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He Punched You Where??

What I actually said to my computer: write and deliver How my voice software translated it:  right in the liver

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Keeping Those Mints Healthy

While writing an article for a client, what I actually said to my computer is Men’s Health Month, but how my voice software translated it:  Mint’s Health Month.

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